personal space

i am reminded pretty frequently of my personal space issues. the truth is, it hadnt always been that way. before people realized that i was insanely ticklish, they didnt bother me. once someone does, however, && especially if its a guy, they will totally abuse that knowledge. the problem with this is that most of the time when i'm trying desperately to get away from someone && like thrashing around, i will get hurt [who knew?]. consequently, i really dont like people close if its not by my choosing. but i love my friends && i give them hugs like no other.

this problem comes into play when people question my ability to be in a loving relationship. i get it: i'm 16 && probably too young to be involved with the dating scene at all. but it really hurts that that will be questioned by the people i love so much: my friends.

i obviously can't say this to anyone insinuated in person because there is no 'nice' way to say it.. but i don't have space issues if i really like someone in any romantic sense.

musically..

so people within the 'scene' know every band that seems 'sold out' or just plain stupid && poppy. howevs, people outside of that do not necessarily know which ones are not cool to listen to at all && when they stumble upon said bands, they think it is the absolute coolest thing EVER. for instance, all time low, we the kings, && mayday parade. all said bands were virtually unknown about a year a&& a half ago. seeing them at that time was pretty interesting, howevs, there were about 12 people watching their set. to this day, bands like all time low are totally selling out tours. in the instance of mayday parade, let me say that they played the very first slot of the day all summer on warped tour. that is the shittiest spot, by the way. but all of a sudden, when a bunch of cheerleaders in your ap psychology class find that band && find them uberly interesting && go out && buy a t-shirt thinking that it wil make them accepted with people who actualy give a crap about music. [p.s. && by the way, it doesnt. it just makes you seem more like a jackass than i already thought you were].

same thing goes for metro station, boys like girls, good charlotte, the maine, etc.

**main point** ONCE A BAND GETS WELL KNOWN AT ALL, IT IS INSTANTLY NOT COOL TO LIKE THEM OR RUN AROUND SCREAMING THEIR SONGS.

so... don't.

if you want to know any bands that someone within the music scene is cool or up-&&- coming, just ask. don't be a jackass.

&& of course this applies to every music scene, so not excluding things like metal or rap... or whatever youre into.

so...

no followers? really?

there are some blogs that get like a bazillion hits a day [see heavy breeding] but that only because people like that are super interesting && are rock stars. i think i should make a band so people would read what i have to say.

:/

lol trl is ttyl!!

for all tech-stupid people... [laughing out loud, total request live is talk to you later]. the english translation does have much the same effect.

honestly i can't stand typing like that. the people i text with can vouch for me on that: i NEVER shorten ANYTHING.

NEways. just kidding. but seriously, i have a serious matter to discuss. ORLY? haha okay yeah i'm done.

TOTAL REQUEST LIVE IS DONE! over! dead! after like how long?? ten years. that like 5/8 of my LIFE. && its over. excellant blog about it by Daniel Hunter, called 'the slow, horrific, painful, unholy death of trl'. quite possibly a better name than mine. well basically i am in love with him && i do read like all of his blogs && he inspired me to do this one. so whoever actualy reads mine [still convinced im the only one] READ HIS BLOG BECAUSE IT HAS LIKE A BAZILLION YEARS MORE VIEWS THAN MINE && ITS AMAZING. he is amazing too.

it's over. done, man. but really, they had like every mianstream person && their sistre on the frigging show. i dont give a crap about britney spears or snoop dog or simple plan or other people that came on their finale bs. [that one was for appropriateness]. honestly, i am sure it had a good run for what it was trying to accomplish [selling people out for them] but i am one of those people that got pissed off when they saw someone that they liked musically because it meant that they sold out && that everybody would know them now && tell you that they absolutely love your [insert obscure band name here] shirt that you have had for some-odd years && all of a sudden they pretend like they know them as well as you do because they saw them on trl.

WELL SCREW TRL I AM GLAD IT IS DONE. someone needed to abolish that culture magnet && my only regrets are that i didnt get to go there && call the one girl out on her [possibley] fake australian accent.

maybe that building will be used as like a dunder-mifflin storage unit now. that would be infamously cooler than the one music-related show on mtv that happens to be on when i get home like everyday that made me want to shoot myself. EVERYDAY.

dan's blog : http://blog.myspace.com/playradioplay
bookmark it. subscribe to it. love it.

:]

america has a fascination with accents.

assuming you read the title of this one, it is true. assuming that you did not read it the first time, then went back pretending like i wouldn't notice, it is 'America has a fascination with accents'. so now there is no excuse for not knowing exactly what i am going to talk about because it is pretty straightforward, && i can proceed.

the music industry...the entertainment industry...the social industry [just kidding, that one is fake, i just wanted to go with the flow]. it is dominated by people that show in their voice they are obvious outsiders! now, i am NOT a naturalist. that bears repeating... so go && read over it again. i do NOT think that the people who live in the united states && have for a while are superior to those that have not or do not. in fact, myself, just like every other American, has an obsession with foreign accents. mainly British. but i don't know, i suppose some people are more into the Russian, Indian, Chinese, or Australian accents. thats just me.

going off the Britishy one...they're EVERYWHERE. the youtube clip, 'charlie bit me' is constantly being repeated not for the obvious fact that it is funny, but people that do not have accents take pleasure in imitating them. the one lady on TRL [oh...trl... next time!] has a very think australian accent && that is probably the only reason she was hired.

it has been long known that british bands can 'make it' in europe && never even be heard of here. why then, all of a sudden do we have a surplus of british people in the airwaves? because AMERICA HAS A FASCINATION WITH ACCENTS. the wombats [whom i love], performed at the oakland art && soul festival && nobody knew who they were && even laughed at them when they came on for the name && the shirts they were wearing. however, as soon as the lead singer, matthew, spoke, it was like everyone had the most complete ADD in what they were doing && were respectful for the rest of the set. it may have been because they are amazing, but i think it had more to do with the accents. especially if you can hear that twinge through their singing. some vocalists you would never know had an accent because their singing ccovers it up. what a shame.

my best friends' boyfriend has a watered down accent && she told me that this was the very first thing she noticed about him && she absolutely loved it. keep in mind that at that time she had like five other boys that she liked.

i recently met two girls about my age, pretty && whatnot, & incredibly talkative. why? well ,they might have just been very chatty. or, they may have known that anyone within listening range would have completely diverted their attention to what they were saying. or, they might have liked the sound of their own [accenty] voice.

ANYWAYS. i will probably find more examples as life hits me && strikes me interested, but until then i really must try to not make this one the longest blog i have done.

[mission not accomplished].

inspiration

can be found anywhere. myself, i get inspiration for nearly everything i do from obvious things like trees, the weather, other people, birds, && the wonder that is life. these are all out of order, but are followed by music. don't get me wrong, music is absolutely amazing. i listen to it a lot, && it affects my mood drastically. just today, i was having a decent day until i listened to a slower, more dramatic song. ironically, the lyrics alone are supposed to give youh hope [more or less] but combined with seemingly creepy music, && it can just bum youh out. this couldve been resolved easily, but i then made the mistake of listening to it again, realizing that my friends blew me off for food, && various other things including a massive headache && BAM! bad day. although this is just one example of why music should not be people's only inpiration in life, it is the most recent one && stll hurting my head so i decided to mention it.. ANYWAYS.

people that place their life into the hands of just one thing often times feel glorified && superior when with other people that do not share that single reason for life. i feel bad for them [quite the honestly]. like the anime people or the gangster people. whatever it is, their one inspiration leads them to look silly for a while without ever realizing it as their own image of themselves stays. this is apparent with has-beens that still live in whatever age they were famous && decide to never ever change their style.

me, i'm getting older. while i realize that music is amazing && i love discussing bands && stuff, i know that that's not the only thing that keeps my universe going. i know that it is not even the general things forementioned, but also the small things, like mixmatching earrings, opening a new can of tennis balls, or watching the history channel, help me get through my day && inspire me to do it all again tomorrow.

remembering..

the latin root 're-' means 'again, anew, or back' according to everyone that knows anything decent about the english language. so, to the word, 'remember'. when one remembers something, they recall something from previous knowledge. they re-member it. but re-membering requires the fact that youh had to member it in the first place && that just doesn't make sense, as the word 'member' is not used like that at all.

basically.. remembering is the act of membering again. in this context, the action of membering would mean to learn. && to call upon that knowledge would be remembering, or learning again.

this word bothers me :]

love?

so many people say that theyre in love, but honestly, how can youh possibly kno? there is always someone that youh could like more than the person youh say youh love, so what does it mean to say youh love someone? does it mean that youh would die for them? what is the ultimate test of love? && why do all the ideas coming to my head involve death...?

treasure thy friendship.

the following is word for word from my godsquad journal from august 2nd, 2007. i kno it's late, but i couldn't find my journal. shush.

c && s: "so what about you, caroline?"
me: "uhhm what?"
c && s: "what do you treasure most?"
me: "well, above all, i treasure friendship. not the everyday, run of the mill ones, but the truly honest ones where both people are comfortable enough with just being themselves that they don't try to assimilate themselves so that the other person will accept them easier. people are always so eager to be accepted that they forget who they are && lose themselves in who they are trying to be. but the thing is that the rare, genuine friendships are the ones that last-so what's the point in faking who you are?"
s: "woahh. well, next question."

ignoring people.

has a certain art to it...&& unfortunately, there are people doing it the complete wrong way hence hurting people more thean intended. for instance: if two people [for the sake of fluency, let's say their names are jack && alice]. so jack met up with alice && they had a wonderful night togehter [nothing innappropriate, mind youh] && jack promises that he'll call once he gets home. well what happens a full two months later when that call never came && alice already tried her luck at phoning him, with no more success then hearing his voice... on the answering machine. should alice give up trying to communicate with jack? she has no idea why this is happening, by the way. as neither of them had any reason to ignore the other for a full two moths. should alice still try to get in contact with him or just give up altogether? in my opinion, i believe alice should forget his sorry ass && leave him to suffer alone. but in that case how would that awful conversation go when he asks her what happend? well what happened was he turned into a drugged out little boy with a police record, but that has nothing to do with the story prior.

there is a certain art to ignoring people, && in my opinion, people need to just get out what the hell is bugging them, or else the victim is further inflicted with the pain of denial of importance.

gangster people.

so 'gangster' people that rap rap about the ghetto && having a hard life. but in the same music videos chanting about poverty, you get a visual of big houses, nice cars, && money, things that regular peole [like me] don't have at all. a ghetto is a place set aside in a city for a particular group, like the jewish people in world war 2. but the african american people werent PUT there, that was the only places that they could afford so they just stayed there. but when the rich ones sing about the people still in the ghetto, isnt that like a slap in the face for the people still living in extreme poverty? like 'wow that guy just said he lived like us but it seems to me that i'm about to die && he could put this city's entire ghetto into his house if he had the heart, he SAYS he cares about us, that we're all homies, but he's letting us live a life that will lead us into the next phase in the circle".

so is there a point to the things he raps about if its just fake? cuz real songwriters write about things that happened in their lives && make excellant songs about it. but if a guy just comes along && raps about things that didnt actualy happen, is there a point to listening to what he's trying to say if theyre just lies?

this is why ghetto people make me laugh, cuz they dont evn kno what theyre following when they don the oversized clothes&& the bling. they are supporting something built from lies.

some credit goes to austin from texas [haha].

guitar solo's?

everybody knows what a guitar solo is, just as much as everybody knows who jason matthew thirsk was [joke i guess thats just me]. but have you actualy stopped to think about it? a solo basically means 'by itself' but during the classic guitar solo's that we have all come to know && love lies a hidden secret : theyre not solo! guitar solo's are usualy accompanied by drums, the bass, or even another guitar. the only thing thats ALWAYS missing is, of course, vox [or vocals for the unsavvy people].
&& for all the people that think theyre smart && say "well what about the times where theres only the guitar playing [like to start a song or to finish it] but those dont count as solo's because they normally come at the climax or just before the climax of the song [like at the bridge or somewhere near]. at the beginning of the song if a guitar is used solely, its to capture the listener's interest, if at the end it's normally to let them off of the wonderful trip known as a good song.
good songs to me are the ones that get your adrenaline pumping, like your heart is really pounding && you just HAVE to sing the lyrics at the top of your lungs if there are lyrics.
which brings me to my next point : instrumental songs are not guitar solo's. think about it : the entire song cannot be a solo! cuz then its not a break from anything. UNLESS you have a really downbeat song that plummets into a whole 'nother universe at a certain point in the song [case && point : dazed && confused by led zeppelin].
but anyways i'm not entirely sure if i'll be on again anytime soon; i'm bringing myself across the country to help relief from katrina in new orleans. i be a saint. [theme song for trip is the saints are coming by U2 && green day. not my decision].

music = life?

so i get it : people say that music is life. but then would silence be death?! if someone never listened to music before [hard to believe but bear with me] would they be dead? or perfctly happy, cuz maybe for them, maybe plants is life. i believe oxygen is life. which makes more sense cuz if someone is deprived from music for a certain amount of time, they will go crazy, but dead? i think thats a tad bit irrational. the essentials for life are water && air [i guess food too but youh can go a LOT longer without food then without, say, OXYGEN. so music cannot be LiFE. it can be a good part of life, the entertainment portion [again not necessarily needed]. but to say that music is life might be going a bit far.

final wishes debate.

so if someone is about to die, && its for sure, should their final wish be taken into account? like if old man joe is surrounded by loving relatives && he says 'as my final wish i want anna to marry ted". then he dies. but what joe didnt realize is that anna && ted absolutely hate eachother. like immensely. do they have to marry just because it was the man's final wish && they both love him && respect it? if they don't get married does that mean they don't respect him enough to follow his dying wish through? if they did get married but divorced like 5 minutes after would that count? or do they need many years just to honor old man joe?!

counts for warped tour!

so at mountain view warped tour we counted :
[us means me, kelly, && sammi]

103 mohawks [yess we counted. we be dorks]
83 pictures before my camera proclaimed it was exhausted
7 stickers [sweet]
5 new c.d.s [CIWWAF, PRP!, TA, RDR, && CS]
4 people i know [lauren, kristin, jen, mike]
4 girls with no shirts
4 videos before my camera proclaimed it was exhausted
1 drunk person that started dancing with us
3 bands that we were watching that had moshpits
2 bands that we meetd && greetd [PLAYRADiOPLAY! && all time low]
2 of my favorite bands i saw [PLAYRADiOPLAY! && PENNYWiSE]
1 new shirt [playradioplay!]
1 tatoo [boys like girls]
1 band that i regret missing [boys like girls]
1 unforgettable day

thanks go to kelly!

birthdays.

so, today, being my birthday, i may as well rant about birthdays. && i'm going to have to go with kyle xy [great show. watch it] on this one saying: "why do people celebrate the amount of years they have if it only brings them closer to death [?]. " exactly what i would say!! perfect logic. im not quite sure what to add to that. uhhm should i be depressed today that i am officialy 15 years into life && therefore fifteen years closer to death, or should i be happy about being older, making me wiser [not true]. people are usualy happy on their birthday, rite?

but then theres kyle's statement!! but then shouldnt days be bad too? cuz theyre days closer to death too. so why should we bother trying to be happy if we're just inching closer to the end with every passing second?i think im going to answer my own question with the old cliche :"life is precious, treat every day like its your last, && make it count". if i were to treat everyday like it were my last i think i would have a lot more spontaneous actions. so i think i'll end this with a thank youh for anyone reading this. cuz for some reason writing in a blog makes me feel special :]

weaponry.

there are always rules against weapons. exspecially in airports, schools, && hospitals or important places that have some some sort of power. no knives, guns, metal, LiQUiDSs, etc. but the thing is that anything can be used as a weapon, so why bother enforcing the rules so much for the more obvius ones, when someone can just as easily, say, strangle someone with.... their clothes [?]. is there a point to this madness?! last year while going thru security in mexico, they threw away my entire matchbook collection that i had culminated during the previous week. it was lame!! i mean, do they really expect a blonde american girl to set her seat on fire?! what the hell. i couldve just as asily suffocated the lady next to me with her damn pillow. ANYTHiNG can be used as a weapon, so proves mcguiver.

summer vacation.

so school ended today && this is the last day ill be a freshamn till college. oh i realized that ben && i are in coordinating grades, but in high school && college. for example, hes a sophomore, i'm a sophomore. but what i hate most about today is the depressiness factor. its so sad to look around && gaze into the faces of people that you [well i wont anyway] see for another like 3 months. which suxx cuz its like staring into the faces of ghosts, && i kno that i will miss them like crazy in just about a week.

but anyways the main topic for today is the title of 'summer vacation'. iTS STiLL SPRiNG!! atleast till the 21st but until then people have no rite to say its summer just cuz we dont happen to have school. then in the yearbooks people say 'have a good summer' but cant they wish us more then just summer.. cuz we still have like 7 more days of spring. or if thats too confusing for little minds to handle, they can put 'have a happy break'. iTS NOT SUMMER! damn.

buggss.

okeyy so everybody always says that bugs are really annoying, specially if theyre like crawling on youh. but honestly, if theyre crawling on youh, shouldnt that be taken as a compliment? they couldve picked anyone elsee, but they picked youh. shouldnt youh be like honored? its can mean that youh small good, or that youh have what dumb people ** dana** call 'sweet blood'.

but whats the deal with when people spot a bug in the AiR && try to kill it? are they insulted because they werent good enuf to be landed on or something?!

bugs save our planet. without some of them, we wouldnt be alive. like the compost ones. compost helps soil grow stuff, like, i dont know... food. if there was no food, we wouldnt evn have a chance to live. so why punish them with death? they live [in this case the U.S.] so shouldnt they have the right to a fair trial by jury? pretty much all the species have been around well before we were. so they deserve to get something back for it, like, i dont know... a place to land.

bothersome. o.0;;

people should obey the laws of traffic when walking. keep to the right, yeild to the people on the left, etc. so why is it that in the halls of school people insist on going the wrong way?! i kno that some poeple, like dana, say that i'm wrong. screw youh dana. kiddinggg. but seriously people always run right into me && i make a habit out of not looking directly at people so i can TRY to NOT run into people.

damn.

but then theres my philosophy that people dont run into people unless its completely on purpose. which still applies if someone pushes someone into another person. like if i pushed dana into a wall && she richoshayed into another person, that would be on purpose by me, unless the person she crashed into was really her secret crush && she WANTED to crash into them, then it still would be on purpose. it makes sense, just think aboot it.

so then according to that the people that crash into me actualy want to do just that.

damn.

more where that came from.

is it possible to sneeze while you're sleeping? cuz if so i'm kinduv worried.

my sister started sneezing in the middle of the nite && i wasnt sure whether or not she was meaning to [hence awake] or if it was one of those things that the body does without permission.